A month before the wedding Murphy's Law kicked in. The so call dress maker, who was chosen for one reason only..Dionne (my Grasshopper and that's another 360 story) did runway shows for her to help get her line of clothing up and running. Grasshopper did these shows at NO CHARGE. Ebony (yeap she has my name) has had the dress order since January 2 brides maid, the matron and of course the brides dress. Since I had a problem with my dress (made by a company in China another long story). I checked almost daily on the progress of these dress. Two weeks from the wedding the only one that had a fitting was Grasshopper and she had jacked the dress up (My Grasshopper designed her dress) So Miss dress maker assured her she would fix the train and have it ready in two days. As of last Wednesday there was NO dress and Grasshopper was at David's Bridal trying on dresses for plan "B". Long story short this dim wit shows up the day before the wedding with 4 unfinished dress, the Friday I left Kansas City.
MY TRIP
First let me say I know who I am and whose I am, therefore the devil can not stand on the same ground that I walk on.
My flight was at 7:25 a.m. on Friday April 22, 2011. There was a thunder storm that morning, it rained so hard I could see maybe 2 feet in front of my car. I live 25 minutes from Kansas City International airport, so I left my house at 5 a.m. My plan was to leave my car in long term parking since my return flight was coming in at midnight Sunday. I make it to the parking lot one hour after I left my house, good timing based on the rain. Parking lot "C" is where the shuttle to Continental comes. When I arrive I see orange cones everywhere, so I'm trying my best to get to the area still open to the public. I almost make it too ALMOST. I see a large break in the cones and think I'm suppose to go here..WRONG in this driving rain they have connected these cones with a thin wire, which got caught in my windshield wipers. I turn the wipers off jump out of the car and untangle the wire. It's raining so hard I had to hold onto the front of the car to find my way back to the driver's side. I reach for the handle to pull the door open and to my surprise I'm locked out of my car yes I said it SHIT. The door did not close all the way so I grab the top of the window and pull it toward me so I can get my hand down in it to unlock the door. I drive a convertible so I'm thinking I should have a little give....WRONG. my hand was less than 2 inches from the lock, I tried and tried to get my elbow pass that top but it was not to be.
By now my arm is hurting but I'm not missing this flight was my only thought. Plan "B" try the other arm (like it was 2 inches longer). the elbow on it said hell no I ain't going either.
A lady drives up and asked are you locked out I tell her yes and I need something that will give me about a 2 inch longer reach. She searches her car and hands me her phone charger and says see if you can loop it. I try and realize it will not work. I send her on her way for I did not want her to miss her flight. The shuttle driver pulls up a few feet away and begin hollowing at the lady she can't park there, she had entered where I tried to go and the only reason she made it beyond the bearer was because I had knocked the cable down. I go to the shuttle driver and tell him my problem. I asked if he had something like a screw driver to extend my reach. In some unknown accent he tells me No and drives off. I am soaked to the bone, my Cole Haan's (if you don't know what this is, we just simply shop at a different level) are an Ocean. I start to cry and then I remembered WHO I AM..I said nothing but lifted both my aching arms and face to the only one that could fix this, and when I lowered my head there was a white truck, the guy did not get out of the truck but said help will be here in 3 minutes (1-1-1). And as he said parking assist was there in 3 minutes and opened my car in 3 seconds. The time 6:45 a.m. A shuttle showed up as I walked to the get on the bus area. He passed me by and I simply looked up and he stopped and waited for me. I went thru check in without a hitch. The plane was delayed for 10 minutes so I pre-board as I always do, SOAKING WET. Planes are always cold so I had dressed for a cold plane my flaux leather jacket was wet inside and out everything I had on was wet. I froze my azz off to Huston. I arrived at Terminal B gate 79 my connecting flight was gate B84L sounds close don't it? I look for this gate found 83 but didn't see 84 so I go to the desk and ask where is gate 84L the woman asked for my boarding pass looks in her computer for my connecting flight and tells me it straight down that hall, so I ask how far, she sees I board Handicap so she calls for a tram and tells me the gate on my flight will close in 12 minutes. The tram shows up and off we go, that man drove so long I thought hell you need to pack a lunch for this trip. We get to the end of eternity and he tells me my gate is at the bottom of the escalator, so down I go looking at my watch all the way. When I reach the bottom I'm looking for a gate that says 84L all I see is a door leading outside, but people are going out the door so I follow. Yeap I'm on the tarmac looking at one of those remote control planes (Remembering my trip on Delta to Atlanta). How the hell am I suppose to get up those steps with my carry on? Problem solved you don't carry shyt on those planes they take 'em and load 'em in the belly of the plane. So while I am standing there looking up at those steps knowing my knees don't do steps, knowing I have two arms that hurt like hell and I just don't think they are strong enough to pull me up those steps, here comes the flight attendant that came out of Kansas City with me and the co pilot that just short of carried me up those stairs. I thanked them both and she told me she had announced that the one passenger connecting to Huntsville need not worry for they (meaning me) would make the flight (Like I can hear). She changed my seat to the first seat so I could stretch out my now throbbing knees. Huston was 86 degrees and did my body need that heat. I made it to Huntsville about 15 minutes late but there stood Teddy waiting for me. In spite of all the crap the devil is a liar and like Job I too remember who I am. Teddy tells me he just got off the phone with Grasshopper and he don't know what happened but all she wanted was for him to get her mama.
Now that I look back it was a good thing those flights were delayed because if I had been there when that Ebony chic showed up I'd be writing this from a jail cell.
BTW getting back home was just as bad as getting there. I got home at 3 something this morning I was supposed to be back at 11:57 but that is another story for another day. My grasshopper is now Mrs. I still have a hit list but I have a great connection in Huntsville we are Madea and Ella, OGs for life, Juicy the mother of the groom and Gypsy the mother of the bride. In the words of MC Hammer you can't touch this.
Pictures of my arms I can't go to the gym until these hematomas heal but MY DAUGHTER IS MARRIED NOW. and Continental Airline holds the same rating as Delta NEVER AGAIN
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