About Me

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Senility Prayer God grant me The senility to forget the people I never liked The good fortune to run into the ones that I do And the eyesight to tell the difference

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


I need to get some shyt off my chest. A few months ago there was a blog talk radio show about DEAD BEAT DADS. It was discussed that even when a man does not pay child support he should be able to spend time with his kid, for that I agree. But recently from a Micheal Baisen show I realize there are dads that are labeled ICE CREAM DADS. These are the men that get their kid on visitation day and give them ice cream and cake for breakfast, take them to ALL the fun game spots, when all they want is love and time which has no price but is priceless. so paying child support has little meaning, when that's all you are doing

The past month or so I have heard things come out of my grand-daughter's month that anyone would know was a COACHED STATEMENT. These statements have NO relevance to the conversation we are having, they just come out of thin air. She was born a seer and I connect to her feelings better than anyone on earth. Today I have had enough of this shyt and if YOU can't see the harm that is being done, you need to get out of self.

A Good parent is going to put the needs of their child first, ALWAYS. Last week on the Michael Baisen show one of the topics was has your mom/dad put a boyfriend/girlfriend before a child. Too many times men/women don't realize it's the little things that are important to kids and most of those little things cost nothing.

My son has started dating a woman that is BANKED UP, buying him all sorts of shyt, a new truck, a 300,000 house and today 1200.00 dead locks. I have NO respect for a woman that has to buy a man and I have even less respect for a man that can be bought. YES I SAID IT, I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR MY OWN SON.

My son claims he is comfortable, yet he is sneaking around trying to be with his ex wife. My son has told me that sex with this new girlfriend is bad, but with his wife it is the bomb. He is suppose to be engaged to this new girlfriend. She is 39 years old with 3 children age 20, 19 and 6. Now she wants to have a baby (Yeap I'm blank staring this shyt). After age 35 women have some dried up eggs, making the risk of not having a normal baby very high. I have one grand-daughter and that's all I'm ever going to have. They can have a baby with 3 ears, a water head or Down's Syndrome if they like but, I will have nothing to do with it. YEAP I SAID IT SO TAKE THAT TO THE BANK.

A side note, this woman has 3 children and although she claims the first two have the same father (You know I investigate everything) I have found the father's facebook page and he only list one of the two as his daughter, and she is too for she looks like him. The other girl don't look like either of them and they never married. Her 6 year old, she says she was married to the man, however I have learned that this man too took flight when this child was about 3 years old. He came down with terminal cancer and this woman moved him into the basement of the duplex next to her where she cared for her mother. A statement that just floors me is that it took 2 years for him to die (blank stare again). This man died a few months ago at 6 in the morning and she had him cremated by 10 in the morning the same day. Yes he had family here that did not get to see him or have any input. Was there a memorial service, NO.

As if all this shyt ain't bad enough here is the biggie. She takes mentally impaired people into her home to care for them (this is where the big bucks comes in) One guy is so far out there that he keeps checking into the metal hospital, on his last discharged he is so heavily medicated that he now sleeps 18 hours a day. She gets 5,000 a month to keep him. The other two (2,500.00 a month) are night owls one thinks he is a late night DJ and the other patrols the house as a policeman. And the idiot I have to call son has my 5 year old grand-daughter in this shyt every week-end.

My grand-daughter is starting private school on the 16th of August, the titution is over 10,000 a year that has to be paid tomorrow. My daughter-in-law (She divorced him, not me, so she is still my daughter-in-law) just called and told me that he wants to make payments so he is going to increase his child support by 100.00 a month, so I do the math 1200.00 dollars a year ain't gonna put a dent in that tuition. He tells her he will deposit 400.00 dollars in her account today cause he is getting 1200.00 dread locks and can't get away WTF.

You know I'm livid about right now, don't ya. His half would be 500.00 a month, that would be outside his child support but he is including his child support in the monthly payments. So my grand daughter is suppose to eat air and drink water..she is not suppose to have a roof over her head? Other than the uniforms I'm buying she doesn't need any cloths or shoes? Her mother pays 900.00 a month to a pre-school (one of his choosing). She is moving out of a 900.00 dollar a month condo to a 500.00 a month house closer to me so I can help get my grand child to and from school. She has a high end job with FAA because of her MBA but no matter how high end it is she can't and should not have to cover this expense alone. She is truly doing her part for the sake of her child.

I have told the world don't mess with this child for my horns will come out. They are growing as I type. That house of cards is about to take a dive and I don't give a rats ass if he is they daddy. I don't give a rats ass that this is my child. DOING THE RIGHT THING is what is important to me. And when it comes to my grand-daughter we are talking PRIORITY ONE.

I GOT SOME DIMES TO DROP..AND WHEN THE SMOKE CLEARS LETS SEE WHO IS STANDING.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

HELLLLLLER

I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A THING HERE FOR A YEAR OR TWO ANYBODY I KNOW STILL AROUND THESE PARTS

Monday, April 25, 2011

My daughters wedding



Many of you 360ers know how and when Ibecame Dionne's mother so I will not go into that, if you don't know ask somebody that likes to type (I don't like to type).

A month before the wedding Murphy's Law kicked in. The so call dress maker, who was chosen for one reason only..Dionne (my Grasshopper and that's another 360 story) did runway shows for her to help get her line of clothing up and running. Grasshopper did these shows at NO CHARGE. Ebony (yeap she has my name) has had the dress order since January 2 brides maid, the matron and of course the brides dress. Since I had a problem with my dress (made by a company in China another long story). I checked almost daily on the progress of these dress. Two weeks from the wedding the only one that had a fitting was Grasshopper and she had jacked the dress up (My Grasshopper designed her dress) So Miss dress maker assured her she would fix the train and have it ready in two days. As of last Wednesday there was NO dress and Grasshopper was at David's Bridal trying on dresses for plan "B". Long story short this dim wit shows up the day before the wedding with 4 unfinished dress, the Friday I left Kansas City.

MY TRIP

First let me say I know who I am and whose I am, therefore the devil can not stand on the same ground that I walk on.

My flight was at 7:25 a.m. on Friday April 22, 2011. There was a thunder storm that morning, it rained so hard I could see maybe 2 feet in front of my car. I live 25 minutes from Kansas City International airport, so I left my house at 5 a.m. My plan was to leave my car in long term parking since my return flight was coming in at midnight Sunday. I make it to the parking lot one hour after I left my house, good timing based on the rain. Parking lot "C" is where the shuttle to Continental comes. When I arrive I see orange cones everywhere, so I'm trying my best to get to the area still open to the public. I almost make it too ALMOST. I see a large break in the cones and think I'm suppose to go here..WRONG in this driving rain they have connected these cones with a thin wire, which got caught in my windshield wipers. I turn the wipers off jump out of the car and untangle the wire. It's raining so hard I had to hold onto the front of the car to find my way back to the driver's side. I reach for the handle to pull the door open and to my surprise I'm locked out of my car yes I said it SHIT. The door did not close all the way so I grab the top of the window and pull it toward me so I can get my hand down in it to unlock the door. I drive a convertible so I'm thinking I should have a little give....WRONG. my hand was less than 2 inches from the lock, I tried and tried to get my elbow pass that top but it was not to be.

By now my arm is hurting but I'm not missing this flight was my only thought. Plan "B" try the other arm (like it was 2 inches longer). the elbow on it said hell no I ain't going either.




A lady drives up and asked are you locked out I tell her yes and I need something that will give me about a 2 inch longer reach. She searches her car and hands me her phone charger and says see if you can loop it. I try and realize it will not work. I send her on her way for I did not want her to miss her flight. The shuttle driver pulls up a few feet away and begin hollowing at the lady she can't park there, she had entered where I tried to go and the only reason she made it beyond the bearer was because I had knocked the cable down. I go to the shuttle driver and tell him my problem. I asked if he had something like a screw driver to extend my reach. In some unknown accent he tells me No and drives off. I am soaked to the bone, my Cole Haan's (if you don't know what this is, we just simply shop at a different level) are an Ocean. I start to cry and then I remembered WHO I AM..I said nothing but lifted both my aching arms and face to the only one that could fix this, and when I lowered my head there was a white truck, the guy did not get out of the truck but said help will be here in 3 minutes (1-1-1). And as he said parking assist was there in 3 minutes and opened my car in 3 seconds. The time 6:45 a.m. A shuttle showed up as I walked to the get on the bus area. He passed me by and I simply looked up and he stopped and waited for me. I went thru check in without a hitch. The plane was delayed for 10 minutes so I pre-board as I always do, SOAKING WET. Planes are always cold so I had dressed for a cold plane my flaux leather jacket was wet inside and out everything I had on was wet. I froze my azz off to Huston. I arrived at Terminal B gate 79 my connecting flight was gate B84L sounds close don't it? I look for this gate found 83 but didn't see 84 so I go to the desk and ask where is gate 84L the woman asked for my boarding pass looks in her computer for my connecting flight and tells me it straight down that hall, so I ask how far, she sees I board Handicap so she calls for a tram and tells me the gate on my flight will close in 12 minutes. The tram shows up and off we go, that man drove so long I thought hell you need to pack a lunch for this trip. We get to the end of eternity and he tells me my gate is at the bottom of the escalator, so down I go looking at my watch all the way. When I reach the bottom I'm looking for a gate that says 84L all I see is a door leading outside, but people are going out the door so I follow. Yeap I'm on the tarmac looking at one of those remote control planes (Remembering my trip on Delta to Atlanta). How the hell am I suppose to get up those steps with my carry on? Problem solved you don't carry shyt on those planes they take 'em and load 'em in the belly of the plane. So while I am standing there looking up at those steps knowing my knees don't do steps, knowing I have two arms that hurt like hell and I just don't think they are strong enough to pull me up those steps, here comes the flight attendant that came out of Kansas City with me and the co pilot that just short of carried me up those stairs. I thanked them both and she told me she had announced that the one passenger connecting to Huntsville need not worry for they (meaning me) would make the flight (Like I can hear). She changed my seat to the first seat so I could stretch out my now throbbing knees. Huston was 86 degrees and did my body need that heat. I made it to Huntsville about 15 minutes late but there stood Teddy waiting for me. In spite of all the crap the devil is a liar and like Job I too remember who I am. Teddy tells me he just got off the phone with Grasshopper and he don't know what happened but all she wanted was for him to get her mama.

Now that I look back it was a good thing those flights were delayed because if I had been there when that Ebony chic showed up I'd be writing this from a jail cell.

BTW getting back home was just as bad as getting there. I got home at 3 something this morning I was supposed to be back at 11:57 but that is another story for another day. My grasshopper is now Mrs. I still have a hit list but I have a great connection in Huntsville we are Madea and Ella, OGs for life, Juicy the mother of the groom and Gypsy the mother of the bride. In the words of MC Hammer you can't touch this.

Pictures of my arms I can't go to the gym until these hematomas heal but MY DAUGHTER IS MARRIED NOW. and Continental Airline holds the same rating as Delta NEVER AGAIN

Monday, March 21, 2011

REMEMBERING DR. EVARISTO GAITAN SR


Over 40 years ago I worked in a hospital named General Hospital. This was a few years before my first child was born (1972). General Hospital was known as the County hospital, a place where middle class America would not be caught dead there (no pun intended). I worked Cardiology, ran a CODE BLUE TEAM that was above any in the state. We got the gun shot wounds, the stabbing, those that were mugged and of course the mothers to be. I am re-flexing now for my friend had a masses heart attack and will be crossing over in the next day or two. I spent this morning with him at the Providence Hospital in Kansas City, Kansas. He is not here physically but I spoke with him on a plane that few will understand. His wife Joclyn was there and she knows the connection Risto and I share. The thing about seers, dreamers, or as the Bible puts it prophetess (for you nay sayers get in the Word and read about Deborah wife of Lapidoth, I already told you I know from where I descend) is we can not see a thing about our selves. Risto would read me and I in turn him. I watched for the first time ever the movie Eve's bayou two nights ago because I was questioning myself. WAS I A NUT? I never heard of this movie but as the Great Spirit always does, he spoke to my questioning. I often tell people I can feel you although I am 100s of miles away. In this movie Mozelle Batiste Delacroix did the same thing most times she held the hands of folks that wanted to know their future or where something that was lost could be found. She charged money for doing this, something that should never happen, but unsolicited visions would come to her just as they come to me, but I digress.

The Old General Hospital has a reputation, If you are dead or dying go to General Hospital and you would surly walk out of there alive. Our Code Blue team where miracle workers, I am still in awe of the folks that walked out of that hospital. As I stated I worked Cardiology and over time we started losing some of our long term patients ( I was at St. May's Hospital by then). There was this one woman named Martha, she was 42 years old and went for open heart surgery (they did the surgeries at the hospital next door (Trinity) but we did all of the work ups before surgery. Martha had Angina pectoris (google it). She went in at 6:30 that morning and all day long we kept checking. I got off work at 3:30 but Martha was still on the heart/lung machine I stayed until five and she was still on the heart/lung machine. When I returned the next day the first thing out of my mouth was Martha? She was dead, they could not get her off the heart/lung and called it at 11:30 that night. The only reason she didn't come off was because she didn't want too. Dead was better than the pain she had endured. I took it personally for part of her work up is the physiological part and Martha got pass me. There or those that have a death wish and I normally see it, but not Martha. I was tired of seeing death so I went to Labor and Delivery, I wanted to see life. There were a couple of BLUE babies (google that one too) that hurt but I saw LIFE.

Right now I'm tired of seeing death and the ones that are the hardest are the ones that I see before they happen. I saw my nephew Brandon, I saw grasshoppers father, the thing about this one is he called the date hisself) and now there is Risto.

Risto is at peace and so is his wife, Mario, his son is on my page and I want him at peace as well. I was just thinking if Martha was at the old General Hospital being cared for by my mentor Dr. Hill I just bet she would have walked out alive.

I need an Eagle feather (which are very hard to come by) but I want Risto to meet his ancestor, Sam Perry, in the ways of OUR ancestors.

I am going to Post a poem written by DR. EVARISTO GAITAN SR. one night during our late night talks

TAPESTRY
OUR LIVES MAKE UP THE TAPESTRY OF OUR ANCESTORS.
FREEDOM NEVER RINGS, AND INTEGRITY NEVER SINGS.
THIS UNIQUE FABRIC OF TIME DISPLAYS THE TUMULTUOUS DISDAIN OF OUR FOREFATHERS.
THE FORBIDDEN JOURNEY IS CAPTIVATED HISTORICALLY IN THIS TAPESTRY OF TIME
I, THE EVIL THE WICKED, THE UGLY,…..
THE USURY BY WHITE MEN, INDIAN MEN, AND INDIAN WOMEN, AND HOW THEY REPRODUCED
WHILE INDENTURED IN SERVICE.
THE INDIANS COHABITED WITH BLACKS, FATHERED CHILDREN, BUT FAILED TO CLAIM THEM.
FASHIONED AND SHAPED FROM THE SAME GENETIC INGENUITY FULL-BLOODED INDIANS
USUALLY ARE, BUT AS UNCLAIMED FREIGHT LEFT FOR AN AUCTION OR SALE.
IF LOOKS COULD KILL, IT WOULD BE SUICIDE WHEN KING TISH-O-MINGO LOOKS INTO
THE MIRROR. HE IS ALSO LOOKING AT A FREEDMEN SLAVE WHOM HE FATHERED.
THE INDIAN BLOOD WAS INTERTWINED WITH THE SAP OF A BLACK WOMAN,
INTRAVENOUSLY PENETRATING THE SPINDLE OF LIFE, AND THE WEB OF TIME.
DISSEMINATING FROM THE VAS DEFERENS OF A NATIVE WARRIOR'S SEMEN.
COLOR CODED CHROMOSOMALLY , INDIGENOUSLY PREDISPOSED.
LOOKS LIKE ME, FEELS LIKE ME, SMELLS LIKE ME.
A TRUE REPRODUCTION OF THE FALLEN SEED OF A NATIVE AMERICAN WARRIOR.
THE BLOOD…..
OVERLAPPED….
OVERLAID…
CRISS-CROSSED..
INTERMINGLED…
COMMINGLED…
THE SHAVINGS……
THE TRIM…
THE TINY THREADS…
THE FRAYED EDGES ARE STILL
INDICATIVE OF WHO WE ARE.
THE SCISSORS OF CIRCUMSTANCE CANNOT CUT US.
THE TAPE MEASURE OF ERADICATION CANNOT AND WILL NOT RULE US BY NO MEANS!!!
BECAUSE WE LOOK LIKE , FEEL LIKE, SMELL, AND ARE LIKE THE INDIAN WARRIORS
THAT TOOK THE BLACK WOMAN'S SAP, AS WE DISSEMINATED FROM THE RESULTS OF THEIR SEMEN.
DOUBLE-MINDED, DOUBLY INDENTURED, AND DOUBLY ENTANGLED IN THE EYES OF THE
NATIVE AMERICAN.
CAN YOU SEE ME??????
WHERE AM I IN THIS TAPESTRY?
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
I AM THE INDIAN THREAD!!!!!
I AM THE INDIAN NOTION!!!
I WAS CROCHETED INTO THIS TAPESTRY BY INDIAN FATHERS OF LUST , TRICKERY AND DECEIT.
MY ANCESTORS ARE CRISS-CROSSED HERE ALSO
DO YOU SEE THEM????
CAN YOU FEEL THEM?
DO YOU SEE THEIR FOOTPRINTS?
DO YOU SEE THE IMPRESSIONS THEY LEFT BEHIND?
DO YOU SEE THE FAMILIAL WEBS THAT LINGER?
PATTERNS OF YESTERDAY, AS SEEN TODAY.
HANDLE ME WITH CARE, FOR I REVEAL A STORY OF A TRUTH.
DON'T STEAL ONE THREAD, OR ONE FIBER,
FOR THIS TAPESTRY SHALL BE NEVER DESTROYED.
BECAUSE THESE THREADS ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do


After reading this one and without any doubt, this is the last one I will write. As some of you know and believe I was born with the gift of sight. This question has revealed some things I really didn't want to know but I will answer this last question. Those that are reading in silence, I know who you are and hope you can look inside yourself and find the things you really believe in and not what the masses want to here.

I thought the death of my mother was the hardest thing I ever endured, but after watching my sister bury her child, that was worse. Her pain I feel, even to this day. Yesterday she got a check from the insurance company and we went back to square one. I NEVER WANT TO BURY ON OF MY CHILDREN for I would surly die.

FOR THOSE THAT WANT TO LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF I POST THE QUESTIONS HERE, perhaps you can make it 30 days and if not you will know your stopping point

Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 — Something you love about yourself

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something. Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? Day 20 — Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 — (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? Day 22 — Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 — Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? Day 27 — What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself