Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.

This is kind of like day 3. I don't have anyone right now that I need to forgive for anything. I don't hold on to things that are negative for they only diminish me. Are there people who I feel/felt that did me wrong? Sure there has (more than I can remember in my 65 years here) But I forgave them already and unless something happens while I'm typing this I have to say there is NO ONE..

I could go into a Laundry list things that has happen over the course of my life but that is not the question nor is it any ones business, but my own. Also if I type it here means I have not turned it loose, which I have. For to sit here and try to remember it all is just a waste of energy and I don't waste energy. I remember telling Grasshopper just the other day, I look at life like I do the energizer bunny. We only get so much and I'm not going to waste any, for I might need it to fight for my life..You know when you are taking that last breath of life and you just run out of energy to keep fighting? Well I'm putting a lot in reserve cause when I need it most I want it to be there. I don't want my battery to come up short (die) when I really need it. So I say FORGIVE QUICKLY and let it go for it will only diminish your life.

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Honestly there is nothing and I do mean nothing I need to forgive me for. I truly believe that once I ask the Great Spirit to forgive my transgressions, I leave them there. For me what's the point of asking and you keep holding on to whatever it was? I can forgive you (well most of you) for the things you may have done that affected me, but I learned many moons ago, if you hold on to crap you will stay in the toilet. Have I done some wrong shyt, you bet your sweet bippies I have. Some of it I knew was wrong when I did it and it did bring me a moment of pleasure. Right now on my face book page up there where most of you have a bunch of pictures you have been tagged in) I am blasting NEVER REGRET ANYTHING THAT ONCE BROUGHT A SMILE TO YOUR FACE. Some of my wrong shyt brought a smile to my face so I don't regret doing it. Did I need to ask for forgiveness, Yeap, but I don't have that kind of power, only the Great Spirit does, so that's who I ask.

Now that I think about it, What would there be to forgive of myself? When I knowingly did some foul shyt that brought me pleasure. Would I do it again? Some of it I perhaps already have, so would I need to keep forgiving me for the same crap that I will perhaps do again. I tend to look at the big picture of thing. Since The Great Spirit knows every hair on my head, Since before I entered life this time, The Great Spirit knows what I will do all of this life, so to say I need to FORGIVE me for something is like saying the Great Spirit doesn't know what he is doing. I know He Knows so He didn't make no mistakes when He sent me here. So Day number 3 is a wash cause ain't nothing here now or ever that I need to forgive me for..Waiting on day number 4

Day 02 — Something you love about yourself

Picture Eleanor Roosevelt 1898

This is an easy one for me first let me tell you a thing or two about online Social networks. Back in the late 90s I started visiting Social networks. I started blogging (for me) shortly there after. I love poems and this one was written about me in 1885 perhaps in my previous life since I wasn't born this time until 1945. But the entire poems speaks to what I love about ME. I often say I have an opinion about everything, even things I don't know a thing about. I can stand alone in something I feel is truth even if I am the only one on this side of the fence. I see bandwagon jumpers (People who never have an opinion of their own). I have read works by wise people, Primo and Rippa come to mind, did I agree with everything they wrote, Nope because I have my own opinion. However over the many years of reading them their have been folks that no matter what they wrote they jumped on their bandwagon. My indian name Is Ohoyo it means a wise woman in the Choctaw language. My given name is Eleanor named for a very wise woman Anna Eleanor Roosevelt. I Quote her often and try to live up to the name my father gave me. So what I love about me is THAT I HAVE AN OPINION about every thing and have no fear of expressing it for a band wagon jumper I am not. Feel free to read the poem by British Nobel laureate Rudyard Kipling written just for me.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.

Alone and Lonely are not the same.

As most that know me know I don't do a lot of people. (Most times I don't do any). I am a loner and realized today I've always been that way. Back in 1997 I lost hearing in my left ear (went to bed one night hearing and woke the next morning hearing impaired) not until today I realize I've always thought my need to be alone was because when in a crowd of people I can't hear a dayum thing. I really thought I started isolating myself in 1997 because I had to say huh, what did you say, I'm sorry I didn't hear you and that got old real quick. I'm tired of reminding people I was hearing impaired. I was accused of being a snob (which I am) for not speaking or replying to people. It had nothing to do with being a snob, I simply did not hear them (the snob part will perhaps come somewhere in this 30 days). But I've never had more than three people close to me at one time. As a child it was Yvonne Moore and Janet Maddox, As a teenager it was Charli walker, as an adult it was Charli Walker and Kathy Alexander today it is Melvin Shoats, that some of you know as Mr. Ruby.

It took me more than 5 years to come to terms with my hearing loss and that it would not return (to this date no one knows why or where it went). I had to make some adjustments since the loss. My phone rings I automatically hit mute on my TV or stereo, I can no longer sit in my congregation at church, I use to sing and I can no longer do that, sitting in a movie theater is out of the question. I love Broadway and off Broadway plays can't do that one anymore either. I did go to Chicago to see the Color Purple, the play was there, I was there but I might as well have stayed in Kansas City. I went to the last Blues Festival in Kansas City tickets where 94.00 which proved to be a waste of money.

I just bet you think I'm going to say I hate the fact that I'm hearing impaired, that is not the case I find it to be a blessing for I don't have to hear all the negative stuff people say (I don't deal in negative either). What I really hate about me is that I'm a loner. I like me more than I do other people. I enjoy being here alone and honestly I hate when people come a calling. I can do people for short periods of time like 3 days after that I'm tired of you and want to be with just me. I am not lonely by any stretch of the imagination, I am simply alone and love every minute of it. That is what I hate most about me, THAT I LOVE BEING ALONE. Yeap I know it makes no sense, I guess it's a love hate thing.

You can find me on yahoo messenger: ebonykrystal@ymail.com

SO I'VE BEEN LOOKING

SINCE THE YAHOO 360 WENT BELLY UP EVERYBODY MOVED ALL OVER THE PLACE LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT PLACE TO CALL HOME. I TOO HAVE SEVERAL ACCOUNTS BUT SOME OF YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR SCREEN NAME TO YOUR GIVEN NAME MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND...SOME OF YOU ARE WRITE SOME GOOD STUFF THAT I LIKE TO READ.

I READ A BLOG THIS MORNING THAT RIPPA WROTE ABOUT BBWs BUT I NEVER DID FIND A PLACE TO LEAVE MY COMMENT. THY NAME ON ALL MY SITES IS EBONY KRYSTAL, SO SINCE I LIKE READING BLOGS YALL FIND ME OR LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR NAME IS ON..TWITTER, BLOGGER, FACEBOOK ECT. HOPING THIS BLOG FEEDS INTO ALL THE REST OF MY SHYT...BTW THE GRAPHICS ARE JUST TO SEE WHAT ALL I CAN DO HERE....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAD TO ALL YOU DADS

SINGING TO MYSELF